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Category Archives: About the blog

Exercise (setback)

My right knee (which together with my right ankle have been the more problematic due to the arthritis) has been in a bad shape for the last couple of weeks. I can’t exercise at all as i’m in pain whatever i do.

Walking helps but anything else just generates more pain. Also i’d like something with more intensity. Swimming looks like my best option. Definitely requires more commitment and a higher budger but i’m willing to sacrifice other things to give it a good try. I spend money on things i really don’t need anyway. My annual leave ends this week so will leave the “research” (already have an idea) for next week. This will give my knee some more time to get some rest.

10 years ago i would continue to exercise ithrough the pain. 4 years ago this situation of not being able to exercise would have left me in despair. Now i’m just looking to rest my knee and look for alternatives. It took me years to get my s*** together and put up a fight. Never again. There are always options out there. Just need to find them.

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Taking a small break

You’ve probably noticed but the posts are a bit few and far between these days. I’m taking a small break in August although i will posting a few stuff (mostly links and movie recommendations) now and then.

 
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Posted by on August 7, 2013 in About the blog, Antidote

 

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Lack of focus and goals

When i started writing the blog i did not have focus nor goals as to what to do with it. I just wanted to vent mostly. Now, this lack of direction is starting to take its toll on me.

What do i write about? Why should i write at all for that matter?

Writing, linking and posting for the sake of doing it can only take you so far.

For example, I decide to take on a particular theme one month and then the next i just give it up (remember In-Depth reading and Doing Something New for 30 days??). I realised today that i have not written the monthly ratings post where i rate how my New Years’ Resolutions are coming along for a few months now. Completely forgot about it. Of course, that might mean that everything is going so well that I’m no longer conscious of my progress with them. But that’s not it.

I wish i had a talent or passion for just a single thing, so as to specialize. These general, wider, diversified interests don’t seem to be leading anywhere. Do i want them to lead anywhere?

Should the goal be to improve as a writer? I don’t think i have the talent, vocabulary, patience and to be honest the ambition to put the effort that is needed.

But at some point you’ve got say, Ok, it’s been a fun ride. What now? What’s the purpose? What do i want? Am i getting anything out of this? Do i need to rethink how i approach it? Is it time to stop or pause or renew?

I do like recommending books, movies, tv shows, apps, software, board games etc etc etc. This, i enjoy doing but not in the current format. I don’t like elaborate reviews. Also i love hosting small gatherings for let’s say watching football or playing board games. Video or photos/drawings of these maybe? Of the experience. I can’t visualize it. You need a certain level of creativity to do something like this. I don’t have that. Or rather i think i don’t have it because i’ve never done it before.

I’m confused and I need clarity. I need a purpose. A goal. I need to get some sense of progress and finally a sense of achievement.

 
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Posted by on May 24, 2013 in About the blog, Antidote

 

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Happy 1st Birthday

On 29 December 2011 i published the first post on Incoherent Thoughts.

A year and 240 posts later the blog is still active.

This blog is quite representative of my life. It lacks direction and purpose.

I wish i had more to say but i can’t think of anything.

Just….

Belated Happy Birthday I.T!

 
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Posted by on January 3, 2013 in About the blog, Antidote

 

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Why blog?

There is a process to writing a blog post.

Most of the posts i consider writing i just give up on them even before writing a single word. It might not be evident but it takes effort to write something. Even a post that is just a few hundred words long and reads like something a teenager would write.

The greatest hurdle i have to overcome when deciding whether or not to write a post is “why?”.

Why write anything that has in all probability already been written dozens, hundreds of times? Not only that, but better written as well.

This process eliminates around 70% (a percentage supported by overwhelming empirical evidence) of the possible posts i think about writing. The remaining 30% go around, not over, this hurdle without actually answering the question.

Why bother writing anything when others with more knowledge, talent and with considerably more effort have already written it?

Apart from the feeling that it helps me let some steam off i have no other answer to this. But this only explains the writing part of it and not why i am making it public.

Why does a blog post that probably contributes and means nothing to anyone but myself need to be written and published at all?

Like this one.

 
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Posted by on October 29, 2012 in About the blog, Antidote

 

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Friends

This has been a long period of self-examination. A reflection on the life that has already passed. An analysis of the present and a confusion, to put it mildly, of what my future holds. While useful in helping me make the necessary adjustments to get back to the things i value in life, because i have been sidetracked, it is emotionally draining. Exhausting.

A significant part of this analysis is the chapter of friends. I’ve been drawn to articles on the friends issue for this very reason. Even though we all (well, most of us) believe we have friends, we have very different ideas and definitions of what a friend is. I am not going to attempt to articulate my definition (i am already using another’s anyway) but instead have sorted my friends in 3 groups. This grouping reveals, at least i think it does, a lot about what i seek and value in friends.

The penultimate line of defence

These are the friends who know the most about me. They have intimate knowledge of what my mental and physical state is at any given time regardless of how busy their lives are. They always show an interest in what i am up to. They actively seek my company and advice. They listen as much as they talk. They watch my back. We share our successes and as well as our failures. They trust me as i trust them. This is the penultimate line of defense before my family.

Historical

These are the oldies. People i’ve known for years if not decades. With these people history is what’s keeping us together. We are friends because we used to be friends. Some of them i might not see very often anymore as our lives’ paths have diverged. Sometimes i wonder whether they think about me when i am not with them. But familiarity can be very comforting. With this group, shared history and memories outweigh the present.

Closer than they appear

As the above implies, these are the ones that based on how i often i see them and talk to them should not be counted amongst my friends. And yet they are. With some i have an explanation as to the reason why this is so while with others i honestly don’t. These are the non-regulars in my life but on the occasion that we do meet or talk  we can share almost everything that’s going on in our lives. There is trust, mutual respect and a much stronger bond than our separate daily lives would suggest.

Regardless of the groups I’ve tried to fit my friends in, the best definition of who i consider a friend in my life is this:

“To put it bluntly, a friend is someone who cares about you. Not just the fact that you exist, but the fact they contribute to your existence and the quality of your existence.”

 
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Posted by on October 22, 2012 in About the blog, Antidote

 

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Incoherent Thoughts

It’s been almost a year since my last post on www.lostingames.net. Lostingames was my first blog and it was focused on my experiences with video and board games. I stopped updating it in early 2011 for a number of reasons. One was because i slowly reduced my time investment in videogames. At first it was not a conscious decision but later on it was.

Why? Because i stopped enjoying the hobby. I haven’t yet pinpointed what has changed and whether it is a permanent thing but this meant that i had fewer and fewer video game experiences to talk about.

Although my alienation from videogames might have been the trigger it was not the only reason i stopped blogging. It was also because i had lost track of why i started blogging in the first place.

Initially it was so that i could put my thoughts in order and force myself to think about what i was playing and experiencing with video games. Then it became a means to an end. Attract followers to establish a video gaming community in Cyprus with a possible business venture if the right idea came along. Once that never materialised i became disillusioned with the blog.

The purpose of re-starting my blogging is again so that i organise my thoughts but this time on more varied topics. Basically i want to put all my incoherent thoughts on paper where hopefully they will someday start making sense.

 
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Posted by on December 29, 2011 in About the blog